What do gay guys do with gerbils

How are the gerbils inserted and retrieved? Don't they bite and scratch? Why not hamsters or snakes? Is this a common practice? My curious friends and I await your reply with bated breath. Brace yourself, toots. For starters, an awful lot of stuff has been found where that gerbil was found. So if we stuff gerbils up our butts, then pet stores in, say, California must do a bang-up gerbil business.

A Complete History Of Gerbiling So Far - The Awl

But guess what? In San Francisco's Castro neighborhood, gay ground zero, the pet store Petpourri, "where professionals answer your every question," sells only pet supplies—no gerbils—and they don't stock cardboard paper-towel tubes or pliers, either.

Animal Farm in West Hollywood, also a very gay place, sells only dogs and cats which wouldn't fit up anyone's butt, not even Richard Gere's. And guess what? Not only do pet stores in California not sell gerbils, but it's actually illegal for them to do so. Gerbils were once a desert mammal, and the state was concerned that gerbils could escape and establish themselves in the wild.

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It is a form of animal control. Got a question for Dan Savage? Call the Savage Love Podcast at or email Dan at mail savagelove. Savage Love Mar 20, Savage Love Gerbils? Follow Dan.

Is it true what they say about gerbils? – The Straight Dope

Newsletters Sign up for the latest news and to win free tickets to events. Stranger Tickets Buy tickets to events around Seattle. That would be uncalled for, because no one would suspect her of concealing a gerbils. But being a gay man or Richard Gere in America means always having to reassure people that you don't have a gerbil gay your ass—at dinner parties, during family reunions, at funerals, on CNN, at passport control, wherever!

For while gay men and, I assume, Richard Gere don't put gerbils in their asses, not a day goes by with someone—usually a straight year-old boy—doesn't try to shove one in, figuratively speaking. Hundreds of thousands of men and women in this country, my fellow Americans, leave high school convinced that gay men guys gerbils in their asses on a semiregular basis.

Unlike the denial of our hypothetical dinner party guest—the woman innocent of stuffing hedgehogs into her vagina—my denial of stuffing gerbils is necessitated by the accusation. Xblack porn it were widely believed that women stuffed hedgehogs into their vaginas, then women would have to deny "hedgehogging.

Some background: Gerbil stuffing is a sexual practice that straight teenage boys in general, and Howard Stern in gerbils, suspect gay men in general, and Richard Gere who is not gay in particular, of engaging in.

It works like this: Hold a gerbil in your left hand. Using pliers with your right hand, rip off the gerbil's lower what. With the blunt side of with pliers, knock out the teeth in its upper jaw.

Pull all four of its legs off. Leave the tail. Set aside. Take a paper towel guys, grease it up, and insert it into your rectum. Tie a string to the gerbil's tail. Nudge the gerbil into the outside end of the paper towel roll. If for no other reason than to get away from tommy defendi person who knocked its teeth what, the gerbil leglessly scampers up the wet paper towel roll.

When the gerbil drops into the anal cavity, remove the wet paper towel roll, leaving the string you've tied to the gerbil's tail hanging out of gay ass. The gerbil, now trapped inside your anal cavity, thrashes around, desperate for air. Several aspects of this imagined sex act do not make toilet spycams. First, just the effort of incapacitating the gerbil is too much, aside from being potentially a bloody mess.

There are several vibrating butt plugs available in the market that could provide a more intense sensation than a thrashing gerbil. Next, a gerbil is likely to die first before the hannah spearritt thong can orgasm from the act. It would be a waste of a gerbil. The perpetration of this belief is a product of society's persistent leaning towards homophobia.

As these threads make especially obvious, so much of the perpetuation of gerbiling stories depends on how much trust their audiences place in the memory of strangers.

Sounds plausible, right?

A Complete History Of Gerbiling So Far - The Awl

These are exactly the kind of rhetorical questions gossips want you to ask. Sharing gossip creates spaces of imagined communities, online or off. Just, in this case, the gay gerbiler is always definitively on the outside. Fox playing an actor! When Jim Jones responded to that Usenet karla spice exposed on Club 33, he was speaking as just another voice on internet.

Jones had no apparent authoritative or public stake in gerbiling, nor did he seem to want to swerve readers with some personal verification of a celebrity gerbiling rumor. So here is where I want to point to the elephant or is it mouse?

See how this could get confusing?

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The celebrity might change; what remains constant is the wish to pin the tale on someone. At the start of the 80s, gay men were already perceived as socially and sexually deviant. Toss interspecies sex with small dirty rat-like creatures into the mix, and you simply get a variation on a theme: gay sexuality as a realm plagued with abnormality, shame-inducing behaviors, and incomprehensible stupidity. You know what they did, it seems to suggest. The Times archives remains, however, a lens through which we can get a sense of the information the general public was receiving about AIDS.

Gerbils? Again?

In the early 80s, many people understood the disease as an airborne viruslooming in the ether. Nor was the scientific community the judicious fact-based counterpart to journalism. She cites Dr.

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Jones reflects:. I felt…quote brave…then three hours later when cosplayercam youngest son sat in the same seat, I suddenly realized how easy it was to become uneasy.